May the 4th Be With You

Which Star Wars characters would be the best — and worst — at handling the coronavirus crisis?

Darth Vader

Best Prepared for Coronavirus

  • Darth Vader: His mask meets N-95 standards.
  • Han Solo: Carbonite is impenetrable to viruses.
  • Luke Skywalker: He takes social distancing very seriously in the new trilogy.
  • The Mandalorian: He never removes his mask and he protects those he does not know. This is the way.
  • C-3PO: His natural state is paranoia and alarm, so he would be right at home.
  • Jar Jar Binks: He-sa drive people at least six feet away.
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi: Lives in the desert as a hermit. (Downside: old.)

Least Prepared for Coronavirus

  • R2-D2: He's always plugging into something but never washes afterward.
  • Leia: Because she is a senator.
  • Rey and Kylo Ren: They exchange lightsabers without first sanitizing them.
  • Sarlacc: Giant mouth is always open with no mask, and nobody wants to disinfect that.